when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
