Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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