Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
birth control should be required to get into college
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
