u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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