I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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