i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
