i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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