is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
