NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My pussy is not your playground.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
