i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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