she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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