The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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