Can Purell be used as lube?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
