please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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