I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
