He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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