So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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