so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
