I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
