Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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