Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
