My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
