dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
