He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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