Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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