Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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