Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
