the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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