i already hear my dad disowning me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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