my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
