Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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