My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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