If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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