hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
