Walk of Shame. In a state park.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
