Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
