Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This show inspires me to have sex in space
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
