So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
