I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
