I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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