People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
