i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
