no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize