butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
