Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
