I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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