i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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