is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
