my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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