mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
