All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
