It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's shark week go big or go home
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
