I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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