I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
