yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i think i just lost a toe
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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