ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
