I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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