im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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