Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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