remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
