During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
