I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize