Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
soo... how was my night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
